It's 1980 and technology is off the chart. Mankind has mastered the atom, and as a result, can now fly through space. The narrative speculation at the beginning suggests the possibility of life on other planets; something we are about to discover is very true.
Enter Captain Frank Chapman, pilot of the Pegasus 4. A man's man, a hero and what a real space adventurer should look like. He is chosen to discover the fate of two rocket ships that have mysteriously vanished.
"Are my pants outside my trousers Colonel?"Frank and his co-pilot, the philisophical Leiutenant Ray Makonnen, launch from the impressivlely constructed table-top moonbase and head out in search of the missing rockets. The launch was routine, until...
Oh oh, their instruments go haywire from impact damage caused by a passing squadron of Chicken McNuggets! The two head out onto the hull to fix the Retro-Rocket feed lines.
"You want fries with that...?"That's not the end of it though. While on the hull, both a meteor shower and a trajedy strikes - the first leading into t'other.
Chapman's airhose is shot off by a metorite and he begins to pass out. Ray jumps to his assistance and shoves him back through the airlock, only to be struck by a meteor himself and ejected into space. He leaves an unconcious Frank inside the ship, and himself on the wrong side of the closing airlock. Ray drifts off into the endless blackness of space reciting the Lord's prayer.
This is where life takes a turn for Frank. Regaining conciousness, he discovers the ship under the control of a strong gravitational force, dragging him towards a fried chicken drumstick shaped planet. The force field lands the ship safely on the surface. It's all too much for Frank, staggering from the ship and moments... from a second bought......unconsiousness.... i see... small people.... can't stand up.... head swimming.... tiny people.... thunk... eeerrgghhh....
Now how does a giant get around on a planet built for the tiny inhabitants of Rheton? It's simple really. The structural makeup of the planet and it's environment make this happen:
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"Not only is Frank unhappy about the fact that he is now the size of his own penis, he is brought to trial for attacking one of the locals while in his panic-inducing shrunken-ness. Found guilty not by a jury of his peers, but by a jury of sexy space girls, he is sentenced to become a lifelong subject of the planet. As further punishment, he is allowed to chose a wife - the planet leader's daughter Liara, or a younger more attractive mute girl called, Zetha.
Liara is keen for the Earthman. Zetha is sad because she loves the Earthman but can't express it. Herron - the local that loves Liara - is jealous of the Earthman. This marks the beginning of a four-way love square-triangle that culminates in Herron challenging Chapman to a duel.The duel is simple enough. Called, "The Duel of Rheton", it envolves a tug-o-war type of wrestling match. Instead of landing in a trench of mud, the loser is pushed onto a plate of highly concerntrated gravity and evaporated.
The Rhetonites, similar to the blue guys from my #11 review, "War of the Planets", relied heavily on thier mastery of technology. Similarly, they became lazy and lost touch of the hard graft required to run a planet. They did however, retain their knowledge of being able to control gravity. This is how the mystery of the missing rockets came about. You see, Rheton is on the run from a race of beings called the, "Solarites", and have been for some time. In order to avoid conflict, they move their planet somewhere else when the heat is on.
A Solarite. Jaaaaaysus!Unfortunately for the two space rockets, the Rhetonites were again on the move while trying to keep their secrets of gravity hidden from the Solarites. Wrong place, wrong time basicially. Ok, back to the fight.
If you've seen Flash fight The Baron in "Flash Gordon" to the music of Queen, then you wont be surprised that just when Chapman has the upper hand and could easily win over Herron, he spares his life and makes him look like a dick in front of the sexy jurors. Much better than killing him outright.
All the time Chapman has been on the planet, he'd been trying to work out how to get back to Earth. His ship had been set adrift the day after he arrived, and his spacesuit was now XL to the power of 53 times too big for him.
This is where the sparing of Herron's life worked to his advantage.
Herron had come up with a way of returning Frank to his regular size and be discovered by Earth's resuce mission that had recently got underway in a previous, unreview scene.
The plan was this. Wait until Sessom - the leader - is asleep, get your hands on the planet's gravity controller and fly the planet within spitting distance of the Earth's moon. Seal Chapman inside the spacesuit. Use the remaining Earth oxygen in the tanks to return him to normal size. Bam! Resuced.
The plan is put on hold for a while, as just when things were looking good to go, the Solarites catch up with Rheton and attack. Unknown to Chapman until now, the locals had been keeping a Solarite prisoner in a gravitationally sealed cell.
"Grrrr! They'll be making me wear silver teeth next!"It's Richard Kiel, AKA, Jaws from the James Bond movies under all that get-up.
As the planet is being attacked, the machines that power the gravity around the cell begins to weaken and Richard Kiel escapes, terrorising Zetha and Sessom.
Cornered in the duelling room, Herron and Chapman - now great mates - tackle Richard onto the gravity plates and atomise him.
Meanwhile the attack on the fried chicken planet of Rheton continues...
Taking shit no longer, Sessom decides that enough is enough and swings the planet around for the final onslaught. With the gravity weapon on full, he ploughs through the oncoming armada of Solarites, stopping them in their tracks and exploding them in a shower of triumph.
With the planet safe, the escape and resuce plan can continue.
Realising that Chapman was rather keen on Zetha, he's a bit reluctant to leave. You'd be thinking at this point int he film, "Ah, she'll go with him... has to... right?"
Zetha hands him a small rock to remember her by...
Chapman climbs into his massive suit and lets the Earth's air restore his size...
The process renders him unconcious again. When he comes to, the resuce team has arrived and there is no sign of the Rhetonites...
Back on the ship, he begins to doubt the adventure had even happened as the crew's comments about him being in shock seem to make sense...
Had it all been a dream?
We'll never know. Is it the end, or just...
It the actual end plate before the credit roll. WoooooooooooooGadgetry: The gravitational squisher plates used in the duel, and the fact you can drive a planet around. The Magratheans never thought of that did they... eh... eh?
Favorite quote: Nothing particularly stand out.
Favorite bit: The special effects were pretty damn good - the shrinking of Chapman, the super-imposed little people, the moonbase and spaceship models.
There's also a credit for, 'Interplanetary sound' in the credits.
Bottom line: No-nonsense space/love/monster/battle/honor movie with pretty outrageous special effects and a bit of Guliver's Travels theme.
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